I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
