I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize