Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
