Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can't turn off my feet"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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