i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
