i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
