This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
