is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Randomize
