$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
