how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
