I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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