My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
