I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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