Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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