Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
