porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
