It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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