I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
