Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't deserve a penis
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
