Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
