Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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