brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
