So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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