Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
