I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
