I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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