you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
