New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize