You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
