sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
