WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
