The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
