It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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