my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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