dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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