i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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