happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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