Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize