don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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