Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
