onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
