hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
