I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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