walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
