i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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