the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
