First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
