Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
