I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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