dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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