Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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