I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you inspire me to be a worse person
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
