did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
