i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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