how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
