I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
