Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
