as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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