My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
