when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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